A Blueprint For Refining Your Relationship. Part 2 Of 2.

Committed Life

Posted by on January 16, 2016
Greg Raines/Unsplash

Greg Raines/Unsplash

Click to read part 1 of: A Blueprint For Refining Your Relationship.

Talk With Your Significant Other About The Inequities In Your Relationship
No one ever wants to feel as though they have to do all of the work in their relationship. Most would want to feel confident in knowing that all of the typical relationship duties are equally shared between them and their significant other. What’s more, that each significant other has just as much to lose and gain as the other in the relationship.

The best way to ensure that both you and your significant other are equally invested in the relationship is to always make sure that the two of you consistently talk with one another about the possible inequities that may exist in your relationship. One person should not always be relied upon to be the “mature one” in the relationship who does and says all of the right things at the right opportune times. Nor should there always be one person who feels the need to apologize all of the time after every minor and major argument.

Those responsibilities should always be mutually shared between both significant others so that each are equally sacrificing themselves for the betterment of the relationship and for each other. Besides, there aren’t too many eligible singles in the world who would want to be in a relationship with someone who’s intent on getting whatever it is they want all of the time without ever having to compromise on anything that would help bring balance to that relationship.

If that is the case then you would be the only one in the relationship who would actually be doing everything possible to ensure that relationship was active and working. While the other person would essentially be the “single significant other” in the relationship who could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted. And that kind of relationship inequity would only create animosity between both significant others, and not the comfort and the security that a couple ought to have in their relationship.

The great thing about being single is that you can create all sorts of chaos in your life by yourself―and on your own terms―if you really wanted to make things “interesting” for your single life. However, when you’re in a relationship with someone the idea is for the both of you to make each other’s lives as peaceful, as content, and as easy as possible.

Otherwise what would be the point of being in a relationship with someone who’s only going to make you long for the days when you were happy and single?

Understand Why You Should Appreciate Your Significant Other’s Quirks
Everyone has some quirkiness to their personalities. However, it’s becoming quite common for people to criticize others for their quirks, painting them as weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Unfortunately, this is starting to become more and more common among couples as well.

This is no way to have a meaningful and fulfilling relationship. It’s just a fast way to push significant others aside, and for relationship malcontents to clear a path for their own unhappiness and isolation to take over their lives―as well as their relationships.

That’s why it’s important for you and your significant other to come to appreciate each other’s quirks. It not only helps to remind the both of you that neither one of you is perfect, but it also helps to remind the two of you about the areas in which you each are stronger than the other. What’s more, the areas in which each of you could provide strength where the other is weak―making the two of you the quintessential complementary couple.

Any couple that knows the value of understanding and appreciating each other’s quirks, has realistic expectations of each other and for the level of contentment they each can expect with their relationship.

Enjoy It For What It Is, Not For What It Could Be
Too many couples today have unrealistic expectations for what a relationship should be, what one should look like, and what it should feel like. One could blame it on the societal pressures for couples to be perceived as having the “ideal relationship” in the eyes of their family and their friends. One could also blame it on the unrealistic expectations that being in a relationship with someone will help to resolve the voids or the insecurities one or both individuals may be struggling to deal with on their own. Which often creates too much pressure on both significant others to have the absolute perfect relationship that resolves any and all voids and insecurities―instead of each significant other managing those individual voids and insecurities themselves before jumping into a relationship together.

Every relationship is unique. What makes one couple’s relationship work well won’t necessarily make another couple’s relationship work just as well.

So maybe more couples should focus on enjoying their relationships for what they naturally are, instead of focusing on how to make them function as perfectly as possible. It could help eliminate the unrealistic expectations many couples typically have for their relationships today. All that should really matter is that a couple is secure with one another and with their relationship―through the good times and the bad.

But that’s just more of a reason for you to design a blueprint that will help to constantly refine your relationship by you and your significant other’s own set of rules. Because what fun would your relationship be if you and your significant other abided by someone else’s relationship rules instead of your very own?

When you and your significant other discover the things that make the both of you happy as a couple, then you’ll discover what will bring the most contentment for the two of you in your relationship each and every day. And that’s how your relationship can become equally fulfilling for the both of you, and how it can last for many years to come.